Horoscope - A Look at the Stars, with Nalani

by Nalani, Age 10

Written during Drop-In Tutoring

May 2006

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)
These days will be better than your wedding day, and better than the day your babies were born. But then someone will take $25 out of your savings. You might not think it is a lot, but soon you will need it.

Gemini (May 21 to June 21)
You will have twins that will get on your nerves.

Cancer (June 22 to July 22)
This month you will make the best popcorn in the universe. You will make the greatest business selling it at movie theaters or wherever.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)
You will learn a new language. A completely new language that no one has ever spoken before. People will make fun of you. You will get a new hairstyle that makes you look like you've been on the street since you were twelve, instead of like a business man.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
Tough times are far behind you. You'll find yourself on an unbelievable streak of good luck. Don't fret about frustrations you've recently had, everything is smooth sailing from here on out.

Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 23)
You will be framed for murder.

Scorpio (Oct. 24 to Nov. 21)
You will grow a huge unibrow this month. You will lose interest in your favorite obsession. But once you shave your unibrow, you will get your obsession back.

Saggitarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
You will be in the best mood. You'll be the Smiling Queen (or King).

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
You will have self-confidence and believe you can do anything you want.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
You'll be so obsessed with water. You'll want to get 400 beach houses.

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)
You will get pestered by your kids or an adult. And you will get addicted to video games and get fired from your job. But you will be able to buy the pair of clothes that you always wanted.

Aires (March 21 to April 19)
You will be a nuisance to every single person you meet. And then you'll meet the man or woman of your dreams. But you'll have some relationship problems/marriage issues. You'll see a therapist, and your issues will be solved. You will live happily ever after, even though this is not a fairy tale.