Revenge of the Bookeater

by Rafaello Adler-Abramo,

Written during H. Mildew's Story Factory, taught by 826NYC

On the night of the transit strike, in the central branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, a neck-less mutant villain named BookMite is finally ready to take his revenge.

Originally, BookMite was your ordinary, run-of-the mill mad scientist named Barry Miller. You know, the kind you would see walking into the grocery store rubbing his hands together and cackling with glee over his brainstorm for self-peeling oranges.

Back then he was not yet called BookMite, didn't especially like or dislike books - except that he was a gigantic Harry Potter fan - and it would never have occurred to him to eat books. But then, on a stormy night a month of Mondays ago, he was sailing to a deserted volcanic island where the Mad Scientists' Association was having its biennial mad experiments exhibition and paper clip sale. He was very eager to show his experiments fusing book mites with beavers. He hoped to revolutionize the home paper shredder industry. Also traveling on the ship was BookWorm, a book-loving superhero who just so happens to have the ability to morph into whatever he has just read. He had been hired by various governments to make sure the M. S. A. didn't get carried away again and cause the volcano to erupt. They had gone through a new uninhabited island every meeting, and they were starting to run out.

On that stormy night, Barry and BookWorm were both on deck. Barry had used his mad inventions to secretly obtain the still-unpublished manuscript of Harry Potter Book Seven, the only copy outside of the author's vault. BookWorm was trying to concentrate on a book about endangered species while Barry was taunting BookWorm, waving the manuscript just out of his reach. Barry taunted "Haha! I know what happened to Dumbledore and you're going to have to wait a year to find out!" He dangled it over the edge, yelled, "Don't come any closer or else," and pretended to drop it overboard. Suddenly, a gust of wind ripped it out of his hands and the pages were scattered all over the ocean. This infuriated BookWorm so much so that he involuntarily changed into a gorilla from the book he'd been reading and punched Barry straight through the cabin door into a crate of krypton, uranium, and book mites Barry had brought for the M. S. A. exhibition. There was a flash of red light, a bang, and purple smoke everywhere. When the smoke cleared, Barry was horribly changed. He had the body of a book mite, but the arms, legs and head of a human. "I will get revenge on you, BookWorm! I will not rest until I destroy you and all that you are sworn to protect - all the books in the Brooklyn Public Library!" vowed Barry. But he wasn't Barry any more. He was now BookMite! BookWorm turned into a bald eagle he'd been reading about, and flew back to Brooklyn to draw up plans to thwart BookMite.

That was a month of Mondays ago. Tonight, Brooklynites sleep unaware that the source of knowledge, fun, and computer games for thousands - the Central Branch of the Brooklyn Public Library - is in mortal peril. Only BookWorm realizes that since the strike has prevented the library's night guards from getting to work, BookMite has the perfect chance to take revenge on BookWorm, the lover and protector of books.

Everyone is gone for the duration of the strike, including the guards, the librarians, and of course all the kernels of popcorn. It is empty, and quiet. The only two people there are BookWorm, in his home up in the rafters, and BookMite, who has been living in the dirt beneath the cellar. BookMite decides that the hour has struck to eat every single book on the shelves. BookWorm has known all along that BookMite has been living beneath the cellar, preparing for revenge, but BookWorm would never fight first. So he has been keeping a close eye on BookMite, and preparing his defense. He's been hearing odd sounds, and suspects that BookMite is somehow changed by the books he nibbles, but how? Clearly, he doesn't morph like BookWorm, but something's going on.

To patrol the dark vaults under the library BookWorm knows he will have to change into a creature that has great night vision, is fast, and can carry the book about exterminators he has kept with him since realizing Book Mite's plan. Leafing through "Every Single Animal in the World (Abridged)", he first changes into an eagle, but his wingspan is too great for the aisles and he makes a lot of noise knocking books off the shelves. Then he becomes an owl, but realizes he might involuntarily hoot on seeing a mouse. He settles on becoming a jet-black cat, but has one more trip to the shelves to make. He swaps "The Complete Book of Exterminators" for the pocket edition, picks it up in his mouth, and heads out to scout for BookMite in the dark and spooky vaults.

BookMite starts devouring a bunch of books from each vault, one after another. BookWorm follows the trail of bindings that BookMite has discarded. But then BookWorm comes to a vault where BookMite has chewed only one misfiled book but left all the rest. Why are the other books untouched? BookWorm creeps up and realizes this may be the key to understanding how books change BookMite. He realizes BookMite has been spitting out books about people helping each other. "Now I get it. Books change my shape and skills. But they change what drives him." A plan comes into BookWorm's head. Dropping the book he's been carrying in his mouth, he mutters, "Good, I didn't really want to exterminate him anyway if I could help it."

Grabbing "The Fabulous World of Bookbinding," he skims it, turns into a bookbinder, and hurries to the book repair desk. He mutters to himself, AI know I'm breaking my vow to preserve all books, but two books must be sacrificed to save the entire library". He then rushes back to the next row beyond the one that BookMite is savaging, puts the book he has just modified on the top shelf, hides in a far corner, and reads an excerpt from "Gray's Anatomy," making himself recognizable as BookWorm.

BookMite enters the row. When he sees that one of the books is "How to Dominate the Entire World in Ten Easy Lessons" he is thrilled. "Now I'll have to take over the world and it won't be my fault!!!" He scarfs the book down, spitting out the binding. Then he gasps and moans, "Wait a minute. What's going on? I feel like-like-like I DON'T WANT WORLD DOMINATION ANY MORE!!!" BookWorm then reveals that he's changed the covers and tricked BookMite into eating "Great Peacemakers of the World." BookWorm apologizes for punching Barry and accidentally starting the whole mess, and offers to help BookMite turn back into Barry Miller. BookMite apologizes for trying to take revenge on books.

BookWorm promises to use the vast library resources to help BookMite turn back into Barry. BookWorm expects that, as usual, he can find a good book on the subject, and turn into whatever antidote Barry needs. But book after book on mad scientists turn out to be useless. BookMite says, in disgust, "The problem with these books is that the guys that wrote them don't have any practical experience as mad scientists. They just don't know what they're talking about."

After a lot of brainstorming, BookMite and BookWorm declare a contest open to all M. S. A. members. (The prize is five occasions of BookWorm turning into anything you need, as long as it doesn't hurt others.) Finally, after a lot of hard thinking and hard but fruitless experimenting in their separate labs the M. S. A. members decide to work together. They come up with a plan to turn BookMite back into Barry by reversing the original krypton and uranium reaction.

This time, they start with BookMite inside a crate, with a rocket pack strapped onto his back. With him are pieces of notpyrk and muinaru. He ignites the pack and shoots out of the crate. There is purple light, a loud bang, and red smoke. When the smoke clears, there sits Barry Miller. A book mite skitters off of him into a hole in the wall. Barry says "I'm glad I'll never have to taste books again." During a pizza party later that day, BookWorm asks, "How do books taste?" Barry replies, "Let's just say pizza never tasted so good."

Barry becomes a highly successful writer of mad science books because the market lacks quality books by mad scientists for mad scientists. Whenever one of his books is released, he always gives his first reading and signing at the Brooklyn Public Library. He always starts out with the story of how he had been inspired to write the books. That story is what you have just read.