Law and Disorder

by Josh, Tiffany, Goeffrey, ages 10-14

Written during Express Yourself!, taught by Brian Donnelly & Chris Timmins

July 2007

Characters
Cop
Mad Scientist
Judge

Setting
A police officer/cop brings a mad scientist into court for "illegal" time machine use. The police officer/cop soon learns that the mad scientist isn't the only "mad" person in court.

INT. COURTROOM - DAY

JUDGE: Order, order. I said, Order, order. Order of French Fries, and donuts, one drink, and an extra soda.
(The Judge reveals that she is talking on a cell phone.)

COP: *Ahem*

JUDGE: Oh, wait, I'm in court!
(Hangs up phone)

JUDGE: Alright, I'm Judge Royalty. Who the heck are you guys?

COP: Your honor, I found this so-called "scientist" violating a 1942: Illegal operation of a "bootlegged" time machine.

JUDGE: Hmmm... That almost sounds made up, but for the sake of comedy, we'll let it slide. Doctor, I assume you're a doctor because of that snazzy lab coat you are wearing, are you representing yourself?

DOCTOR: Yes, your honor. I am representing me, myself and my clone.

JUDGE: Your clone?

DOCTOR: This is my clone.
(Doctor takes one step to the right pretending that he is another person)

JUDGE: Hmmm... This almost looks made up, but for the sake of comedy, we'll let it slide. Doctor, are you representing yourself?

COP: Your honor, we've been through this already. You're just repeating yourself.
(Cop is becoming noticeably a bit angrier)

JUDGE: Hmmm... That almost sounds made up, but for the sake of comedy, we'll let it slide. Doctor-

DOCTOR: Can I leave yet? There's a party in 2011 I really have to get to.

COP: No, you just got here. You're going to jail, and your honor, you're just repeating yourself.

DOCTOR: But I really don't have to stay here. See I've been to the future and it turns out I win this case... And after this case, I win the lottery, buy a big house, and learn to ice skate professionally.

JUDGE: Hmmm... when are the fries getting here?

COP: (Angrier) Can we move on?!

JUDGE: Certainly. Now go do that swearing on the truth thing while I watch on and daydream about lots of money. Money from the future, ooh la la!

COP: Please, your honor. Now then Doctor D. Wait, what does the D stand for?
(Examines the Doctor's wallet.)

DOCTOR: Doctor.

COP: Your real name is Doctor?

DOCTOR: No, my real name is actually Dr. Doctor Doctor... the Third

COP: Very well then. Dr. Doctor McDoctor, do you swear the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth?

DOCTOR: I do.

JUDGE: I now pronounce you husband and cop. You may kiss the bride.
(Judge snaps back from day dreaming)

COP: (Grumbling under breath because he is starting to lose his cool) I am not going insane. Everything is perfectly okay. Do not have another breakdown.

DOCTOR: Do I have to change my last name now that we're married?

COP: We are not married!!!! We are in a courtroom! I am a police officer and you are a criminal! You are going to jail, for illegal operation of a time machine!
(Completely loses his cool)

JUDGE: Hey, can we see the time machine?

(Doctor brings up what appears to be half of a broom.)

JUDGE: Hmmm... this time machine seems to be very broom-shaped.

COP: Your honor. I'm the one who arrested him and that is not the time machine he was using.

DOCTOR: OBJECTION!

JUDGE: Overruled.

DOCTOR: OBJECTION!!

JUDGE: I just overruled you.

DOCTOR: Yeah, but that was my clone objecting. This is me objecting.

COP: Oh, come on. We haven't even seen this clone!

DOCTOR: Oh, look I've got a hundred clones. And we all object. OBJECTION!! Times infinity!
(Going crazy)

JUDGE: Overruled. Times infinity! Times Infinity And beyond!!

DOCTOR: OBJECTION!

JUDGE: Overruled.

DOCTOR: And now for my clone! OBJECTION!

JUDGE: Overruled.

DOCTOR: And now for the poorly drawn picture of me that I drew in my spare time. OBJECTION!

COP: OKAY! That does it! You are all under arrest for life!

DOCTOR: Hey, look the fries are here.

COP: Oh, that solves everything.
(Throws his hands up in utter disgust)

JUDGE: Case dismissed.

THE END