Live From Never Never Land

by Marina, Matthew, Matteo, Deja, ages 10-13

Written during Express Yourself!, taught by Brian Donnelly & Chris Timmins

July 2007

Characters
Wendy Darling
Tick-Tock Croc
Barry James, reporter
Tinkerbell
Bob Skazinski, anchorman

Setting
After the duel between Captain Hook and Peter Pan. Barry James stands in front of the "camera" (audience) interviewing those close to the incident. All the characters are on stage holding their expressions in silence (Croc is disappointed he did not get the chance to eat Hook, Wendy is visibly upset, Tinkerbell is excited to be on camera)

BOB: Ladies and Gentlemen, we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming for a breaking news story. We go live to the scene where our correspondent, Barry James is reporting.

BARRY: (fixing his hair) Do I look okay? (realizes he's on camera) Oh... um, thank you, Bob. Barry James here, reporting live in Never Never Land from the scene of today's duel between Captain Hook and Peter Pan. Mr. Pan is in critical condition and may not live through the night. I'm here with eye-witness, Tick-Tock Croc. Mr. Croc, can you tell us about what you saw here today?

CROC: Well, I was circling the ship as the duel began. I looked up and saw that they were fighting. Just then, Peter Pan chopped off the Captain's good hand.

BARRY: Sounds like he'll be needing another hook.

CROC: Or a fake hand. You wonder why he doesn't just get something that even looks like a hand. Two hooks would be ridiculous!

BARRY: You've got a point.

CROC: I did manage to get the chopped off hand. It was delicious.

BARRY: When was the last time you ate?

CROC: Months ago!

BARRY: I see... Now, Croc how did Peter end up in the hospital?

CROC: Hook stabbed him.

BARRY: Where exactly did the Captain get him?

CROC: In his... um, nether nether land. (points to his rear end)

BARRY: Ouch. That must have hurt. Now, one final question. Croc, why are you green?

CROC: (lost in serious thought) Well, I've been envious of alligators my whole life. I suppose my green color shows that.

BARRY: I see. Green with envy. But why?

CROC: Well, those alligators have such gorgeous smiles compared to us crocodiles. And there's this girl that I like who only likes reptiles with nice teeth... I've already tried working out... and buying a fancy car... Nothing works... I guess I could get braces...(trails off)

BARRY: Okay... Thank you Mr. Croc. As you can see the stakes are high here in Neverland. The effects of this duel are extreme enough to reach many people and reptiles. Now we have with us a close friend of Mr. Pan's, Wendy Darling. Wendy can you tell us how this event is affecting you?

WENDY: (Hysterically Crying) WAH!!! I... um... WAAAAHHHH!!!
He's a liar. He said he would never fight Hook. Now I won't be
able to get back home.

BARRY: Are you okay?

WENDY: I've... got... to be.. strong

BARRY: I see... How do you think this has affected your brothers?

WENDY: (More uncontrollable wailing)

BARRY: Why are you wearing a nightgown?

WENDY: I was sleeping and then Peter came into my bedroom.

BARRY: I see. Are you a "natural" blonde?

WENDY: What? Are my roots showing?! Oh no! How long have I been here?! I want to go home!

BARRY: Have you spoken to Tigerlily since today's events?

WENDY: Argh! I hate that little -

BARRY: Okay, well...

(Tinkerbell enters with fairy dust to cheer up Wendy)

TINKERBELL: Just think happy thoughts and fly away.

WENDY: (Gets happy, starts flying. Gets angry, gets sad, falls down)

BARRY: Thank you, Wendy. Finally, we have Tinkerbell.

TINKERBELL: (pointing at Wendy's roots) You need to dye your hair. (Waves at "camera") Hi Mom!

BARRY: So this must be your first time on camera?

TINKERBELL: (hesitates) Actually... this is the first time I've ever talked! (runs around the stage with excitement)

BARRY: Okay, Tinkerbell. Tell us, how do you feel about today's events?

TINKERBELL: How do you think I feel? My friend is in the hospital... Which does make it nice and quiet around here... But it's been such an ordeal.

BARRY: Understandable. Are you allergic to fairy dust?

TINKERBELL: (gets mad)

BARRY: Are you turning red?

TINKERBELL: Of course I am! (stomping)

BARRY: As you can tell, emotions are high and things are very serious down here. We'll be keeping Peter Pan in our thoughts this evening. I'm Barry James, signing off.

TINKERBELL: (to Barry) You need a manicure.

THE END